Tuesday, 27 October 2015

Pet hates

  1. People who use their Facebook page to post job vacancies because they cannot be f*cked to use more appropriate social media *culls 'friend'*
  2. anyone who says, "I'll get back to you with some dates", and then doesn't
  3. dog owners who seem to conveniently be elsewhere/on the phone/talking to someone while their beloved pooch shits in the middle of the footpath, and fail to 'scoop the poop'
  4. dog owners who do none of the above but still fail to 'scoop the poop'
  5. dog owners who 'scoop the poop' and then proceed to hang the offending bag ON A TREE FFS - what is this? a new festive ornament?
  6. latecomers
  7. latecomers who live less than two hundred metres from school and yet still fail to realise that YOUR CHILD'S CLASS STARTS AT 8.55AM. Not 9.05am. Not even 9.00am. GET AN ALARM. Alternatively use that phone that appears to be permanently attached to your ear whilst you amble along your way en route to the school gates, (very late) child in tow
  8. people who answer a question with a question, as in, "What are you doing today?" "Why's that?"
  9. hang on, that'd be OH
  10. people who ask inane questions, as in, "What did you do today?", and then fail to listen to your in-depth answer ("I had a conference call with my business partners, updated the company website, worked on a client proposal, and confirmed two customer meetings for next week")
  11. people who ask inane questions, fail to listen to your in-depth answer, and then get offended when you 'elaborate' with sarcasm ("I cold-called two of my ex-boyfriends, booked a one-way ticket to New York, put the children up for auction on eBay, and auditioned for the next edition of The Apprentice")
  12. oh, that'd be OH, again.

As you were.

(c) Scott Adams


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