Saturday, 27 December 2014

One more thing

Since the last grump-fest, I have survived the 'C' day and it's aftermath - also known as the period when all common sense goes out the proverbial window as people queue for hours, nay days, to get their hands on something that they never even realised they didn't need in the first place anyway, like a 50in TV that will not fit in any shape or form in their 4x6ft kitchen/diner/living room, but hey, who am I to criticise?

Anyway. I have been very busy today.

I decided, for some random reason - possibly related to the strand of post 'C' day craziness alluded to above although I have been nowhere near any shops for a fortnight or longer - to have a look at my Twitter followers.

All 1117 of them.

It makes for some interesting enlightening entertaining reading.
I have broken it down into statistical percentages* for your benefit.

  • mother-and-baby-related (games, toys, clothes, parties, mushed food, organic what-not, purified/amplified/multiplied codswallop tripe, play groups, random things that must appeal to post-natal females somewhere but not me) followers: 57%
  • "I'm a new mum/soon-to-be-mum/mother of eight-and-counting" followers: 23%
  • PR agencies followers: 12%
  • dad/male followers: 4%
  • crazy cat lady followers: 2%
  • writers of erotic fiction followers: 0.5%
  • published authors (in any guise) followers: 6.85%
  • fitness fanatics/triathletes/nutters who run/cycle in any conditions: 1%
  • followers who are actual bloggers I have met: 7%
  • followers who are actual bloggers I have met and liked: 0.25%
  • people who are on Twitter but never actually tweet anything: 9%
  • followers who only follow me (presumably) because I tweet rubbish: 4%
  • followers who only follow me because they see the word 'mum' in my handle but do not bother to read my profile, let alone realise it is in parentheses, ie these: ( and ), for a reason: 71%
  • actual people who make me laugh and I follow back: 11.38%
  • actual people I know in person who make me laugh and I follow out of fear of recrimination: 0%
So there you go. Another little useless bit of nonsense.

I am now going to do something far more productive.

Laundry, anyone?


* I may have made some of these numbers up

ADDENDUM (am getting good at these): what I inadvertently omitted to say at the start of this post is that there was a reason for all this extremely scientific analysis proffered. By idly looking at the LCM Twitter followers I noted that my favourite candidate from this year's series of 'The Apprentice' was actually following me.

I am hoping that it was because of my extremely insightful and amusing tweets shared every Wednesday night for the past twelve weeks. Or possibly not.


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