Monday, 4 August 2014

Wishful thinking

So there I was racking my brain about how many other people in my network I should be connecting with and who else we could be speaking to and whether it was appropriate to start setting up appointments for September when the bulk of the working population is back in their offices and if I could tap a few other individuals for opportunities to partner with my brilliant business associates and me... and then an invite appeared in my inbox.

Mr Al-Huzzah Al-Maktoum Al-Geezer El-Shabel In-Harrods 'would like to connect with you on LinkedIn'.


Quick search on the internet and the aforesaid Sheikh El-Spondoolies seemed absolutely fair dinkum. He was a real person, he did have the (very) high position of authority he purported, and he also was, comfortingly, not blacklisted by any of the credit ratings or data agencies.

Hmmm, I thought. Too good to be true?

I wrote back to him - without accepting his invite, I might add, I'm picky like that.

"Dear Mr El-Dollarz

Thank you for extending an invitation to LinkIn with you. Whilst I am flattered to be the recipient of such attention, I would also appreciate understanding in what capacity you believe we could work together?

Kind regards,

Within a nanosecond I received a reply.

Ho hum, not quite what I was hoping for.

Would I like to take part in a project financing programme where Mr El-Dollarz' private equity and venture capital company will "re-invest through project funding in investment loan to third party investors, project owners on a 2.5% interest rate per annum on long term investment projects that can generate up to 10% ROI within the period"?

No. I don't get it either. And I have been involved in financial markets and investment banking most of my working life.

So thanks. But no thanks.

Oh, and by the way: what 'period' are you talking about?
Because if it's within my lifetime, that's a pretty crap return by any standard.

Back to the drawing board.
Like they say: if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck...

(c) Scott Adams


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