Friday, 18 October 2013

Of deadlocks, strikes, draconian laws and baking cakes

Amidst the whirlwind of running a business and cajoling clients in to accelerating timelines - also known in common parlance as the 'put-a-rocket-up-your-arse-or-the-wheels-will-fall-off-your-company' technique - I have being paying cursory attention to the whole US budget brawl and government shut-down saga.

I have also been dealing with issues closer to home that have to do with pestiferous unions and a teachers' strike.

Given that I am not a SAHM (Stay At Home Mum - keep up people!) and due to the aforementioned unions' indirect interference and knock-on effect on wraparound school care provision, I had to park conference calls and client meetings yesterday and take on a new mantle.

Full time mother to three children.

Here's a quick summary of events:

  • 08:00 - include kids (aged 10, 9 and 8 btw) in PT session with the Moose - chaotic, children acting like total nutters, akin to cats on speed, LCM's mood not aided by fact that her eldest (Mr Man) runs so fast she cannot touch him, let alone reprimand him because he is, literally, 'streets ahead';
  • 09:30 - oversee Blossom (daughter)'s cake-making extravaganza and coordinate small army of 'helpers' in the background who insist on also mixing/weighing/pouring/licking spoons/bowls/knives/anything except the inside of the dishwasher;
  • 11:15 - have shower and wonder whether anyone will notice if I retire to bed early claiming headache or sore finger or similar;
  • 11:25 - start homework
  • 11:55 - kids 'make lunch'
  • 12:30 - kids still 'making lunch'
  • 12:57 - kids interrupted from 'making lunch' by being told to do their laundry and put it away unless they fancy wearing odd socks and fancy dress to school for the rest of the term because the Laundry Fairy has gone on holiday and clothes do not magically wash themselves;
  • 12:58 - refrain from answering Widget (youngest)'s persistent questions about where has the Laundry Fairy gone on holiday;
  • 13:00 - continue homework and request some music practice given outlay of money for lessons (Blossom on cornet, a good deal of coercing required, not least due to distraction of recently baked cake, now iced)
  • 13:05 - music practice finished - yes, exactly, @£#%&@?? Never mind... pick your battles wisely
  • 14:00 - homework finished. I will repeat that. FINISHED. Quick scan over kitchen table displays two laptops, one notebook, two kindles, a calculator, various pieces of paper, numerous pens, lots of rubber filings from erasers and several empty mugs of tea. No discarded nurofen packets visible.
  • 14:07 - on bikes to collect two other friends for 'play date'
  • 14:30 to 18:15 - river walk, playground, swings, roundabouts, tree-climbing (complete with mock 'leg break' just to freak me out, although the sniggers and laughter sort of gave the kids away), cake eating, game playing, movie watching, pizza eating, returning of play dates to parents...
  • 18:25 - handover to OH in time to get to a governors' meeting (somewhat akin to last point but more serious and involving grown ups)

So, in summary, things I have learnt:
  1. SAHM = bloody hard graft (I knew this, but every now and then it is good to be reminded)
  2. negotiate to get things done but be prepared to concede some ground (something the US Congress could do with putting in to practice more readily rather that appearing as total arses to the rest of the world)
  3. kids are perfectly capable of doing their own laundry and putting it away (see point 2 if in any doubt)
  4. I survived
  5. my daughter bakes a very fine cake

Lemon iced Madeira,
truly scrumptious 


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