Friday, 19 July 2013

Wuss nation

After what seems like an eternity of an ice age, the British Isles are currently basking in a 'heat wave'.


I use the term loosely as the thermometer is yet to top 40C. I did actually see 32C on my car display yesterday, but that was after it had been parked in full sun for two hours.

Anyway, sunshine notwithstanding, I have been flabbergasted by the new moaning trend by the greater British public (native or otherwise) after so many months of grey, frozen and downright miserable coldness:

  • it's too hot
  • I can't sleep
  • why is there no air-conditioning on the tube/on the bus/in your house/flat/caravan
  • my feet/hands/face/head/eyeballs are swollen
  • I have no energy/stamina/ability to walk anywhere any more
  • I keep on having to drink water/beer/pimms to hydrate myself
  • there's too much sun
  • there's not enough shade
  • the local pool/park is too crowded/not cool enough/too small
  • I cannot find anything comfortable to wear
  • I have to put sunscreen on/wear a hat/don sunglasses all the time
  • the roads are melting/rails are buckling/rivers drying up
  • they'll announce a hose pipe ban anytime now
  • blah blah blah blah...

Good grief people! GET A GRIP!

Given the volume of hysteria this current weather phenomena has caused, I thought I would let the entire whinging contingent in on a little secret (or three) about the status quo:
  1. it's called summer - you call read all about it here
  2. one upon a time, it happened every year without fail (i.e. in the 1970s and 80s when I was growing up)
  3. it is entirely normal
Oh, and 'heat wave'? Seriously? This is a walk in the park, trust me. Try a real version for starters:

Smokin'

And now get your arses in to the garden and enjoy a glass of wine al fresco.

Chill, people. Do everyone a favour.

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