Sunday, 3 February 2013

Elliott says hi

You may - or may not, depending how much attention you have been paying - have read somewhere that one of my erstwhile training partners, the indefatigable BB, started training with a young, fit, toned, vibrant, and undoubtedly dedicated military boot camp-style personal trainer called Elliott.


Now, despite being a very smart, sassy and incredibly gorgeous woman (with a wicked sense of humour as well), BB has succumbed to a peculiar malady.
It is called 'The World According to Elliott', and comes with the following symptoms:

  • no carbs
  • no alcohol
  • no bananas
  • no running without sprints
  • no wussy weights during circuits
  • no complaining
  • no 'pootling along' during bike rides
  • no fart-arsing around in the gym
  • no half-hearted efforts in the pool

Ho hum. So much for MY training then. No chance of improvement in the near future unless I join the ranks too.

Oh, and he often tells BB to 'say hello' to me.

I have never met the man. I do not even know what he looks like, let alone if he has a surname. At least I could Google him if that were the case, or stalk him via LinkedIn or Facebook or something. I am actually unsure how you spell his first name: one 'T' or two? And how many 'L's, while we're at it?

He also - cheeky bugger - now regales BB with various anecdotes and adds that I (as in me, LCM) "should write a post about it".

So, dear Elliott (my preferred spelling, so you're stuck with it until further notice)
Thank you for your concern and your cryptic messages. I am so impressed with what you have done for BB (she looks amazing, so something definitely is working), but please, please, PLEASE can I have my beloved training partner back? Alternatively, can you fit me in to your schedule as well? Have car, will travel, but somewhat impeded by pesky things called - variously - children, work, mini rugby, school governorship, business associates, extremely tolerant husband, ice cream and laundry. Not sure how that cuts with you?

Can't wait to hear from you.

Lotsa love, LCM x

P.S. I thought you should know that I have located the microchip in BB's left buttock and will be removing it shortly. Don't tell her though. She will only swim/bike/run faster so I cannot catch her (not that I can anyway, but that's for another post).


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