Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Business Tweet Management - an alternative installment

Since the last edition it has been busy, busy, busy on the work front.
The sarcasm has not abated, but it has been kept in check.

Hence an alternative Business Tweet Management edition, one that sets the scene, offers the sanitised reply administered, and the actual thoughts that crossed my mind (and sometimes escaped via Twitter).

Still with me? Good.

Scene: face-to-face meeting with salesperson, listening patiently while they list the various 'extra' tasks they have taken on recently, the time it takes for them to deal with everything, the difficulty in managing multiple items, constant pressures of balancing work priorities, ramble, ramble, whinge, whinge... and how their three per cent pay rise is, in effect, 'insulting' and they are, in their eyes, 'worse off'.

Sanitised reply: "I understand your point and sympathise, strict guidelines had to be adhered to, however I will see what can be done."

Actual thoughts: Walk a mile in my shoes, mate. And shut the f*ck up.



Scene: email exchange with sales leader who believes recent communication about team changes - made after lengthy consultation with all interested parties - was not clear enough and needs to be 'clarified further'.

Sanitised reply: "Please do so if you believe this would be of further benefit."

Actual thoughts: "Seriously? Do you really have nothing else to do?"



Scene: reviewing, assessing, structuring and communicating sales commission structures to particular team leader who then replies (via email, how else?) that whilst they appreciated how well they had done during the previous year, and the decisions made that had worked in their favour, they were disappointed with the new proposal as they might 'lose out' because business this year will be difficult.

Sanitised reply: "I understand your concerns and will raise them further to see if any concessions can be made."

Actual thoughts: "Something tells me that if there were a commission for complaining, you would be in for a windfall."




Scene: discussion with sales leader about career path options and their view that they deserve to be considered for senior role because... well, just because... I lost interest in pursuing this conversation any further after they categorically failed to get their point across.

Sanitised reply: "Why don't you discuss this with the current MD and get their input and guidance as well?"

Actual thoughts: "Jesus wept. Where's the emergency exit?"




Too harsh? Possibly. But at least I get the job done and don't just talk about it. (And thank you Twitter!)

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