Friday, 17 February 2012

Why tweet can be good for business

A recent post by Expat Mum and her subsequent follow-up on the back of my comments has inspired me to add more substance to the whole saga.

Putting the 'tweet etiquette' to positive use in business meetings by asking senior management to get their point across in 140 characters or less can be challenging. Just today I had a colleague tell me that they would not be able to condense everything they had to say in so few words.

Aha! But you can.

So here, for the uninitiated, I give you a world-exclusive extract from 'The LCM guide to business tweet management' (patent pending, copyright LCM 2012, please take note).

Typical verbal mouthful (TVM) - "We need to assess what our options are and see if our proposal is acceptable to the client in its current format before we embark on further discussions that will lead to contract negotiation."
Business tweet management (BTM) - "If they don't sign, we're fucked."

TVM - "If we take a closer look at how your departments are interacting together, it becomes increasingly apparent that there is a breakdown in communications between clients, sales, product support and development that ultimately leads to poor solution delivery."
BTM - "Unless your guys talk to each other, you're fucked."

TVM - "The key to changing your management structure is to step away from the day-to-day running of operations and look at the bigger picture so you are able to appreciate how the independent silos in your organisation are impeding progress."
BTM - "Your internal procedures are shite."

TVM - "A flatter structure in terms of management would expedite the turn-around of decision making and also ensure that those individuals who are able to contribute more to the business are given the opportunity to demonstrate what they are capable of achieving."
BTM - "Too many bloody chiefs mate, not enough indians."

TVM - "Although cost-cutting will be a necessity if we are unable to increase our business pipeline and demonstrate how we will grow our existing client base organically, it will also allow us to streamline how we deliver our services without the high headcount."
BTM - "You're fired."

And there are plenty more, but I will stop here before my mother tells me off for swearing (again).

(c) Scott Adams









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Friday, 3 February 2012

What the eye sees - inaugural 2012 edition

Random snaps over the past few weeks. No particular order, only peculiar sightings which caught my attention.

Offended? Don't look then. It's only for fun.

Even in colder climates,
mohawks rool, man!

Speechless (me, not her).
But - where did you get those tops?

I love my Xmas jumper, I do

Cold? Snow forecast? Don't be daft.
It's positively balmy!

How to encourage your spouse to do the housework:
buy a PINK broom

I'm all coordinated in leopard print, I am

Little Bo(w) Peep...

... had a friend: Little Another Bo(w) Peep
(feet off the seats, btw)

OMG. You cannot be serious.

Yup. She is.
*faints*

Oh. I say. Is that you, Sherlock?

Of course. Elementary, Watson.

Very dandy. Turned up collar, natty scarf,
polished shoes, a few too many rings and bangles
for my liking, and your flat cap seems to be
perched at a peculiar angle...
Really? What does it say?
"Insert plug in ear"??
'Til next time.


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