To those of you who know me well enough by now, my aversion to the Christmas cheer is nothing new.
To those who don't - and I'm looking at YOU Mrs and Mr PR Person - well, time for my own version of festive fun.
I like to think of it as an alternative to the dreaded year-end circular letter (which I have covered before), a succinct summary of anecdotes collated throughout the year, a LCM tongue-in-cheek top three (by sector) of what has amused me during 2012.
- "What part of your sales job is unclear?" (in answer to a salesperson who stated they 'could not go after new business' because it was outside their job description)
- "I think the clue to your role is in your job title - 'Field' Sales?" (rebuttal to an individual who insisted they needed a permanent office-based desk)
- "Hitting your target is part of your sales remit, that means 100%, not 85%" (when queried why I was restructuring commission payments)
- "No." ("Do I get a gold star for making my bed?")
- "No." ("Can I change the gears in the car? I know how to drive!" Blossom, then aged 7)
- "Uhmm..." ("Where do you go to make a baby?" "Hospital?" "No mummy, where do they go to do it?")
- "Did you read the correct book?" (as we ponder whether senility is taking over)
- "What's for dinner?" (very important issue for our book club)
- "Can anyone remember the titles?" (see point 1 above)
- "Damn shame that!" (upon being told the swim part of the Windsor triathlon had been cancelled due to persistent adverse weather conditions)
- "Elliot says no more bananas, and I need to eat more nuts." (BB's new personal trainer, aged 24 or less)
- "Run like you are jumping over little puddles!" (realising that I have to 'unlearn' some forty years of bad habits)
Anyone else have some other gems they would like to add?
|Creative interpretation via Scott Adams (c)|