Wednesday, 15 August 2012

Kevin's contagious case of senility - part three

Behold the Kevinettes! Not only have they been going for some twelve years now, their eyesight is getting worse, their hospitality more competitive, their choice of reading matter forever varied, and their memories fading randomly.

But how? I hear you say.

Fair point. Let's put matters in to context and elaborate a little.

There are few rules with Kevin. We like to be a pragmatic and easy-going bunch. But, nonetheless, we do have some token guidelines to avoid certain individuals going astray.

  1. Always try to read at least one of the chosen books - if this fails, then come prepared with amusing anecdotes about your other time-consuming activities and justify your presence by a) drinking, b) eating, and c) laughing with everyone else;
  2. The hostess for the night gets to propose books for the next session, but the Kevinettes reserve the right to a) diss any or all of them, b) propose totally unrelated alternative reading or viewing material, c) continue to eat and drink and not pay any attention and then suffer the consequences (see below);
  3. All comments about the tomes that have been read should be religiously committed by each member to the 'Black Book', preferably in a succinct and elegant manner, and in a legible script - comments such as 'total bollocks', 'pile of crap', or 'lost the will to live' are perfectly acceptable
That's it.

Except that someone was not paying attention at the last meeting and proceeded to read one of the books that went by the exact same title but was by a different author altogether.

LCM - "I enjoyed the book, but felt let down by the ending. Too predictable."

Doctor of Psychology - "Agree, but well written given that the author was a man and the narrator a woman. A very credible voice."

Belfast Blonde - "Why did she fall from the sky?"

Aussie Solicitor - "She was parachuted in to occupied France."

Belfast Blonde (confused) - "But it was set in New York?"

Lovely Radiographer (rolling eyes) - "No, the other book was set in New York."

Belfast Blonde - "It was?"

Botanical Artist - "Uhmm, which book did you actually read?"

Belfast Blonde proceeds to extract the book from her bag. Indeed it is the same title but by a totally different author. Most bizarre.

Kevinettes (in chorus) - "Oh!"

LCM - "Hmmm. We might have to revoke your membership due to inattentiveness!"

Belfast Blonde - "But I did read another book as well!"

Kevinettes (in chorus) - "Oh? Which one?"

Belfast Blonde - "Fifty Shades of Grey..."

There is a collective groan around the table.

LCM - "Definitely revoking your membership."

Belfast Blonde - "... and it was the worst book I have ever read! Just dreadful."

LCM - "Membership redeemed. Lucky escape."

And with that, I sent the Kevinettes the following link to Cate's superb review, just in case any of them were toying with the idea of also reading fifty shades of unmitigated crap.

We do have our standards, after all. Even if not particularly high.

(c) J di Chiarro


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