Is not the strung out downfall of Silvio B and his belief that Italy was - contrary to statistics - in a buoyant state of affairs, quoting, "The life in Italy is the life of a wealthy country: consumptions haven't diminished, it's hard to find seats on planes, our restaurants are full of people." I suppose if all your monetary assets are held in private Swiss bank or intricate tax haven accounts, then your country's demise is barely worth a glimpse, right?
It is not the rampant rate of inflation in the UK that leaves me some £23 out of pocket when all I popped to the shops for was a litre of milk. Okay, so I got a bit distracted in the supermarket but I swear those chocolate florentine biscuits were looking so lonely on the shelf they just jumped into my basket. Possibly with that bottle of New Zealand sauvignon blanc. Oh, look! Two bottles. How did that happen?
It is not the lack of a summer proper in Blighty. Again. Fair enough, so April was glorious and October was hotter than it should have been but what about June, July and August? Pathetic. I mean, what do you say to visitors coming from abroad? "Bring your fleeces and your macs, we are having a touch of unseasonal weather. Just like last year. And the one before. And before that..."
And it is not even the knock-on effects of budget cuts at the BBC that saw Strictly Come Dancing resort to cheap tricks (home-grown video training diaries, anyone?), increasingly bad gaffes (time for Brucie to retire, methinks), and distressingly poor wardrobe attire for female presenters and dancers (Tess Daly, Chelseeeeeee Whatserface Bouncyboobs, Nancy Oily Trollop - choose any).
No. Not at all. As if I would be that flippant. Pah.
My main bug bear of 2011 is... *drum roll please*... poor quality beds in holiday lets!
Because, let's face it, when you pay out good money for a 'comfortable' cottage or holiday rental property, the very least you expect is to get a decent night's sleep. Not one that leaves you crippled in the morning, unable to stand upright, let alone so poorly that even the dust mites play havoc and result in this:
And it's not just the UK that fails in this regard. Over the past years I have endured poor quality (and consequently back-ache inducing) mattresses in Spain, Italy, Mexico, Brazil, Australia, France, New Zealand... the list goes on.
Enough, I say! Forget the London Olympics, the Diamond Jubilee, the US presidential elections, or even the forthcoming new James Bond film (okay, maybe not this last one), I hereby nominate 2012 as the year to be vocal about bad beds and mattresses in rented accommodation.
Don't say, when asked for feedback, "Oh yes, it was lovely, thank you!"
Say, "No it was bloody awful and I will be sending you the bill for my trip to the osteopath to sort my back out!"
Don't say, when filling out the post-visit questionnaire, "Really enjoyed our stay, very comfortable, would recommend to others."
Say, "I appear to have developed a permanent kink in my spine accompanied by spasms which whilst very distressing are providing entertainment for the children as they 'practice' massage techniques on their mother."
So. The movement kicks off January 1st, 2012.
It will be called the 'Ban Bad Beds' aka 'name and shame holiday rentals into the provision of better quality sleeping arrangements'.
Of course, it goes without saying that the good providers will also be named and praised.