Returning from a long early-morning Sunday cycle ride.
LCM - "So what does your fancy schmancy new high-tech watch tell us then?"
BB - "We cycled 32km, I burnt 1744 calories, average heart rate of 154 bpm, average cadence of 87..." (continues to rattle off random figures as LCM's eyes start to glaze over)
LCM - "What time is it?"
BB - "No idea, I don't know how to find that on this thing."
LCM (looks at own watch) - "It's 9.22."
BB - "What is it with your photo on your LinkedIn profile?"
LCM - "Why? What's wrong with it? I'll have you know that is my official photo which is on my work pass."
BB - "Your hair looks all wonky."
LCM - "More than usual, you mean? I thought I looked serious and business-like."
BB - "You look like you have a halo."
LCM - "Oh."
Via combination of emails and text messages.
BB - Let's enter this triathlon! It'll be fun!
LCM - Fun? You always say that, and then look what happens. I have a better idea. How about we do a relay entry - you, me and the Wine Writer?
BB - Excellent! I'll do the swim. What will you do? The bike ride or the run?
LCM - No, no, no. You swim, you cycle, you run. WW and I will provide the cheer-leading contingent. We can take it in turns to shake the pom-poms.
BB - (silence)
WW - Are you wearing a wetsuit for the Windsor Triathlon? Do you have any advice?
LCM - Wetsuit is compulsory, given water temperature. BB and I are having an open water coaching session at Datchet reservoir in early May at 6.30am. Do you want to join us?
WW and BB - Does it have to be that early?
LCM - Yes. I don't want anyone to see us.
On cycle ride.
LCM - "That was Pro Athlete* that just overtook us on her bike!"
BB - "Nah, it wasn't. Pro Athlete is much bigger and bulkier and has shorter hair."
LCM - "I'm sure it was her. I recognise her from behind. Years of experience in a rowing boat and never seeing people's faces."
BB - "Definitely not her."
Thirty seconds later as we pass the same person now stationary by the side of the road with her training team.
BB (yelling and waving) - "Hi there Pro Athlete!"
LCM - "Did she recognise you?"
BB - "Uhmmm... No."
* occasional triathlon coach who tries valiantly to put us through our paces
Email to LCM and BB.
WW - Just to let you know I completed 74 lengths of front crawl on Friday. Obviously I was stopping every 4 to have a quick gasp. But am making progress... Still think I might drown at Windsor, but there you go.
BB - You didn't say what length the pool is. Or was it a bath tub?
WW - Damn. How did you guess? Thought I had got away with it.
LCM - Change of plan: WW you are doing the swim, the cycle and the run in the triathlon relay entry. BB and I will be cheering on the side line, caipirinhas to hand.