Sunday, 5 December 2010

'Tis that time of year again for the ghastly circular letter, rehashed. Are you ready?

Last year I wrote this. It was so appropriate, I thought worthy of a re-hash. Only marginally edited.

Dear All,

What a year it has been, I barely know where to start. I am about to embark on a rant of tumultuous proportions and random one-up-manship, so look away now if you do not wish to feel inferior in any way.

The year started off with great flair. The darling children had settled in so well at school and were making excellent progress, showing great promise and receiving much praise from their teachers and peers. I am enduring round three, yes, THREE of Kipper and Chip and Biff in those bloody early reading books. I will personally throttle the author if I can ever figure out who it is. And the illustrator while I'm at it.

We took a much needed holiday in early spring to enjoy a new travel experience in the magnificent country of Brazil. The exotic location was glorious, the locals incredibly friendly, and our Portuguese language skills improved daily. The children made easy friendships on the beach and were utterly charming to all, endearing themselves to all who met them. How sweet is that considering their young age? Two words: ash cloud. And another two (swear words): British Airways. 

Work has been eventful and full of surprises. After redundancy and a lengthy spate of consulting work, I have found a fabulous position through networking close business links and am relishing the challenge of this amazing new job. The Paranoid Former Employer was a pain in the f*cking arse and good riddance to them. Am sure I am not the only person laughing as their share price tanks and other senior figures jump ship and dish the dirt. Bwah ha ha ha ha ha... *regains composure*

We returned to that delightful abode of years gone by in Spain during the summer months and spent endless days soaking up the atmosphere, watching the children play in the pool and relaxing in the glorious surroundings. It was indeed the epitomy of true bliss.  I shouted myself hoarse and spent far too much time doing laundry to ensure we all had some semblance of clean clothes to wear. I came home to have a proper rest.

We have had many wonderful visitors this year, regaling us with all their travel stories and making our weekends so plentiful as they filled our home with laughter and brought generous gifts from lands afar. We always look forward to receiving everyone when they are in town, no matter how brief a visit. What else are friends for? What else indeed? Flippin' bloody cooking and cleaning and endless tourist visits to places packed with people I cannot stand. What is wrong with you lot? Ever heard of a hotel? I am not a free guesthouse.Or restaurant for that matter.

So as the year draws to a close we reflect on our good fortune and hope that 2011 will see you all blessed as we have been. As ever, we will catch up with you in person once the festivities are over and we have had time to adjust to the start of a new year ahead. I am still here. So is the spouse. We are still talking, albeit not on a regular basis. Why the hell you should think we would want to see you now when we have managed to avoid you for the past year is beyond me. But hey, hope springs eternal. Plus mother always told me to be polite.

With much love and best wishes from us all, I wrote this, no-one else had any input, not that you would notice,



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