Sunday, 22 August 2010

How long does it take to make a coffee? Room service Spanish style.

Fabulous setting. Barely eleven in the morning and ensconced around the pool with the sun filtering through the tree tops, Gibraltar in the distance, kids already splashing in the water, light breeze blowing. Very pleasant.

One thing missing. A nice cup of coffee.

Cue walkie-talkie. A request to the missing person from our midst to brew up a pot and bring it poolside.

“Roger that. Over and out.”

Some ten minutes later, the sun a tad higher, the breeze a little lighter, the heat starting to build. No coffee in sight.

Cue walkie-talkie again. Is the designated coffee-maker en route? Or possibly still sleeping? Or even – heaven forbid – otherwise engaged?

“On its way. Over and out.”

Another ten minutes pass. Still nothing. We consider the options:

  • sit and wait some more
  • send one of the children to raise the alarm
  • send several of the children to raise the alarm
  • dispatch the dog to investigate
  • wait for the owner to make her daily rounds and thus spur him into action

“Mr Management Consultant (MC), are you dressed?”

No reply.

“MC, the owner is coming by to drop off some items. Are you dressed?”

No reply.

“MC. Do you have anything on at all? You are about to receive a visitor.”

The walkie-talkie crackles into action.

“I have now. Thanks for the warning. She might have got a bit of a surprise.”

And lo and behold, two minutes later steaming fresh coffee is placed on the table before us. MC might have adapted immediately to the more laid-back Spanish lifestyle, but it has to be said that our demands for prompt service are still decidedly in line with London expectations.

Am sure that will change by the end of our stay. Alternatively we might just have to find some greater ‘incentives’ for MC to speed up his service.

‘Beer’ and ‘Spanish totty’ initially spring to mind, although I somehow think his wife might not quite approve.

Yadda yadda yadda...