Monday, 21 June 2010

The Spanish inquisition - those questions you always dread

It's an interrogation Spanish inquisition tag no less, courtesy of Very Bored in Catalunya who seems to think I have some beans to spill.

She's not too far off the mark actually.

So here are her questions:

1. If you could possess one super power for a day, what would it be?

An automatic mute button. I would point my finger at the offender and they would be struck silent for at least ten minutes at a time.
Instant relief from tedious long-winded meetings, whinging children, obnoxious tube passengers and the noisy neighbour who thinks sitting on his balcony at 2.30am on a weekday and singing loudly out of tune with his mate to a stringy guitar is okay. Zap!

2. In the next life you want to come back as...?

Daniel Craig's swimmers.

3. First item on your shopping list is?

Something illegible. Looks like this.  

Think it means this.

But most likely is this.

That's what happens when you are right-handed and break your wrist.

4. Can you speak a foreign language, if not what language would you like to be able to speak?

I speak English, Australian, Kiwi, South African, Irish, American... Oh, sorry, you mean proper languages? Yes, a few. And I shout a lot in all of them.

5. What was your favourite subject at school?


6. What's your party trick?

I am very adept at knocking glasses of red wine over guests whilst gesticulating wildly to illustrate a point.
And then being asked to leave shortly afterwards.

7. What age were you when you lost your virginity? What??? Come on, just spicing things up.

Aha! I know a trick question when I see one. The answer is the Peloponnesian War, which marked the dramatic end to the fifth-century-B.C. golden age of Greece (thank you Wikipedia).

8. What do you do to relax?

Organise military-precision marching for the children en route to school and back. Uniform is mandatory and they have middle-partings for added severity and mock medals on their breast pockets to contribute to the allure. Shouting (by me, in any language) is optional - see point 4 above.

9. What's the job/chore you keeping putting off that really needs doing?

Leg waxing. Long story. So are the hairs.

10. What's in the cupboard under your stairs?

I live in the caravan on our driveway. OH has banned me from the marital home until I sort out point 9 above and I am on daily rations of Pedigree Chum and Doggie Treats until I am able to convince him that hirsute women are all the rage now. This may take some time.

So apparently now it is MY turn to ask ten questions of other unsuspecting bloggers... hahahahaha (*laughs manically and then notices the men in white coats getting nearer*). Right, quick as you can then:

1. Name of your first pet?
2. Your most delectable piece of lingerie?
3. Be a famous person for a day - who and why?
4. Your neighbour's dog chews up your prized, and very expensive, Manolos. What do you do?
5. If you could only eat three things for the rest of your life, what would they be?
6. Caught speeding. How do you get out of it?
7. Secret crush as an adult?
8. Which side of the bed do you sleep on?
9. Tom Cruise: kiss, marry or send to live permanently with the Pope?
10. Rudest word you have in your (child-free) vocabulary?

And I am sending these to: Nickie at Typecast, Carly at Mummy's Shoes, Tattooed Mummy, Heather at Notes from Lapland, and Nudie Princess

On your marks, GO!


  1. only ten minutes for the mute button? Are you insane woman?

  2. Excellent, best get my thinking cap on. Question 10- just the one rude word? Picking my favourite, now that's a challenge.....

  3. You are a naughty girl and I love the answers you gave. But shouldn't question 7 be How Many secret crushes have you had as an adult??

  4. Great answers missus. Fab that we share the same party trick. x

  5. Great great great answers! Love the Daniel Craig swimmers reincarnation... naughty heaven!

  6. yep Q7 was tricky - I only named one though...
    Number 3 made me think most though.
    Great work on the interrogation :-)

    Your answer to number 9 is a classic!! (me too BTW)


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