I am to post my top seven list of things that make me grumpy. That takes quite some whittling down, I can tell you, but I will do my very best. And try to put the sarcasm aside for a moment. Just a moment of course, you know, blink-and-you-miss-it type of moment.
I will not ask Other Half to assist as the list would be too predictable: crumbs on the floor, loud music in the kitchen, damp towels on the bed, unloaded dishwashers... boring.
But first, I had to clarify in my own mind what grumpy truly means.
–adjective, grump·i·er, grump·i·est.
surly or ill-tempered; discontentedly or sullenly irritable; grouchy.
Related Words for: grumpy
bad-tempered, crabbed, crabby, cross, fussy
Okay - so that clears up the definition, now on to the list of seven.
- Cloth ears, also better known as selective hearing. Applicable to husbands, children (especially in the process of putting shoes on or leaving party premises), and sales assistants in shops where you do not look posh or wealthy enough to afford their goods. Maybe if I were related to Zac they would treat me differently. Or maybe I should just refrain from entering such shops in the first place.
- Whinging. Especially when emanating from Blossom. Enough said. Amazing how it never seems to surface during school hours... must be a switch somewhere that I am yet to locate.
- Dog owners who do not/will not clean up after their dogs shit on the pavement. Being a dog lover and dog owner myself this makes me more than grumpy, it pisses me off so much I am thinking of campaigning for Mayor of London under the "No (Dog) Shit" banner. It would make my policies so much easier as well as every answer to the journos' questions - where do you stand on gay rights, how will you resolve congestion in London, have you ever done drugs, etc - will entail the same answer: "No shit". Now, where's my campaign manager....
- Seat barging on the tube. Are you familiar with this phenomena? There are two particularly bad culprits here who frequently catch the same tube as me in the morning. A husband and wife, I think. She is short, dark, always dressed in black and positions herself at the very place where the door to the carriage will open on the platform. He is slightly taller, has a bad case of advanced baldness, breathes through his mouth and carries a lethal briefcase which he uses as an battering weapon. When the tube stops, they engage in a two-pronged tactical advance and push everyone out of their way in their mad scramble for any remaining seat (we are one stop down from the end of the line). Woe betide lesser-abled passengers. These two are an entity to themselves and the mere sight of them in the morning is enough to send LCM in to grump-land for the entire commute.
- Excessive - and unnecessary - packaging. The biggest culprit here used to be M&S, and although they have improved, I am still amazed at how much foodstuff is bound and wrapped and laid in a plastic tray. The other culprit is the beauty industry. Why do I have to recycle half of the weight of the face cream I have just bought which serves no purpose and cannot even be turned into a cellulose wrinkle-reducing facemask? Hang on, that's got me thinking...
- Company politics. Oh please! If there is anything guaranteed to put me in a foul mood on the work front, this is it. Paranoid Former Employer was a master at non-communication and the smoke-and-mirrors approach to management and ethical treatment of employees. Main reason why I (and many, many others) got fed up and left, one way or the other. Just do the job and take responsibility, I say. I don't care if you work 20 hours a day or 2 hours a day, as long as the work gets done properly and professionally, on time, within budget. If that gets your goat, well there's the door and one of us will use it soon (usually me). There's more to life than just licking backsides in your attempt to climb the corporate ladder, trust me.
- Poor customer services. I posted about this here and here which probably covers most of my views on this. Suffice to add here that in light of the industry I work in and the relationships I have with corporate accounts, if I took a leaf out of either of these company's books about how not to treat your clients, well, I would not have a business.
Metropolitan Mum, Julie at Sardine Tin, Bloomin' Marvellous and North West Girl in the Country.
And a late addition: Eggs Cream and Honey (because she says she is lacking inspiration).