Thursday, 28 January 2010

Back in the public eye once more and no nudity to speak of

An amusing thing happened on the tube this evening on my way home. Not only did the token weirdo, as per usual, come and sit right next to me, but he also strove to deliberately raise his left cheek (as in a*se, you can see where this is going, yes?) during the journey and fart, quite loudly, in my direction.

But no, I do not think it was deliberately aimed at me. Nor do I believe it was a case of an undercover agent from the paranoid former employer trying to undermine my serene state in light of final settlement being agreed and signed off.

Monsieur Le Gas was, after all, some 80+ years old and rather doddery, complete with hearing aid, walking stick, old-person-style overcoat (the one that is so stiff it stands up by itself when you take it off and smells deliciously of mothballs) and trousers that you just know are being held up by a piece of string. Possibly on day release from the nursing home. And he had lots of hair sprouting from various orifices which would have amused Blossom no end.

Of course, in true British fashion I deigned to ignore the episode, although stifling a fit of giggles when a) the two blokes on the other side of the carriage were killing themselves laughing whilst trying to keep straight faces, and b) I was reading a very funny paragraph in my book*, was no mean feat.

And all I could then think of was what The Bloggess would have made of this as I wrote a fart-related comment on this recent post of hers.

Hey Jenny, are you reading this? Let me know, ok?

Oh, yes, and btw, the blog is back in the public forum.

Just in case you had not noticed.


* Allison Pearson's 'I don't know how she does it' where the character is ranting about a late delivery and the call centre guy is seeking help from a colleague with the phrase "Whatmygonnatella?". Sounds like a venereal disease.

6 comments:

  1. I would have died. Seriously. On the spot. That is why I hate public transport. That, and the coughers.

    (Good to see you back!)

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  2. You should have returned the fart favor. That's proper etiquette in these situations, I think.

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  3. Hooray, back in the public eye!! Missed you even though did come to see you... but would forget and then miss a few posts... omg, farting on the train... how did you stop giggling? Agree with Jenny... fart back. xx

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  4. Mwa - was so immersed in my book, it actually took me a split second to realise what had taken place. What I failed to add was that about 2 mins later the old fella hoisted himself up with both arms on the armrests and we braced ourselves for another sonorous outburst... but he was actually getting up to leave the train and obviously needed to anticipate the effort this action would take.

    Jenny - so glad you stopped by! Agree with you, but timing due to book immersion (see above) meant I would have been 'out of sync', so to speak.

    LWM - I am still laughing about it. I just blame the book now as not yet finished.

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  5. Oh how I don't miss the "eau de tube"! Random farts (usually silent but deadly)and sweaty armpits every weekday evening. Swapped all that for the land of the Hummer.

    Oh, and I enjoyed that book too.

    Glad to hear all is settled and that it's safe to venture publicly into cyberspace again.

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