This year I have not followed X-Factor. In fact I have only ever followed it once, last year. Between that and Strictly Come Dancing my Saturday nights last year were - I kid you not- verging on the obsessive. Laundry duties have since taken over, as regular readers will know.
That aside, I did watch the show a couple of weeks ago and was struck by how the pop factory that is Mr Cowell and co have singularly failed to provide us lesser humans (ie those who would fail at the audition trials, let alone attempt to enter in the first place) with translators for those contestants who talk so fast and so garbled they make comedians like Michael McIntyre seem positively s l o w in their delivery.
Not sure what I mean? Have a look at this then for an interview.
And please spare me the "she's young and fun and full of life" comments.
I need a translator!
The X in X-Factor? I give you the Devil's Dictionary's definition:
I rest my case. Know what I mean, innit?