Right, since this blog is supposedly now 'by invite only' - although PFE has means and ways of intruding, of that I am sure and the sitemeter below can certainly assist in confirming any suspicions - I figure I should be able to shed some light on the shenanigans that have been going on in the background, if for no other reason than to lighten up your day with some tongue-in-cheek entertainment.
And of course, via the best means to an end, ie a list.
So, here goes. LCM's up-to-date latest all-singing all-dancing fancy-pants light-flashing bell-ringing Xmas countdown list. With elves.
- Number of presents bought for immediate family: 7
- Number of presents bought for immediate family which are for children: 5
- Number of presents bought for immediate family which are for LCM: 1 (impulse buy this morning)
- Number of extortionately expensive presents bought for immediate family which are for Other Half who "only wanted a gift voucher" towards next gadget: 1 (how did this happen, remind me?)
- Status of Xmas tree: non-existent (unless you count sorry version in pot in back garden which is staying there and no arguing about it)
- Change of status of Xmas tree: possibly this weekend (am debating how long I can get away with not having one... getting increased amounts of grief from children persuading me to give in)
- Number of wreaths on front door: 0 (I'll get round to it at some stage... like Dec 24th or something)
- Number of Xmas cards received: no idea, lots but less than last year (to date, there is always a last minute flurry)
- Number of Xmas cards received by children: masses, they spew out of their bookbags every evening like some sort of living multiplier
- Number of Xmas cards sent: 0 (I did warn about this in various previous posts and comments on other blogging sites, don't expect links as I cannot be a*sed)
- Number of highly intimidating/threatening/libelous/slander-inducing/"Disgusted, Tunbridge Wells" letters from PFE to LCM's solicitor: 1
- Number of replies to aforementioned letter by LCM's solicitor telling them to shove it where the sun don't shine and get a life a grip on reality a sense of humour a realistic interpretation of employment law: 1
- Number of replies to reply to aforementioned letter: 0 (although am sure this will change shortly)
- Number of accusations thrown my way by sad b*stards at PFE for their own personal failings to win new business deals: 1 that I know of, but undoubtedly many more that I can think of
- Sum of money still on the table (because I was deemed a "valued employee"... err, you made me redundant remember?) provided I sign away all my rights to think/say/write/do anything that PFE might deem damaging in any way or form: pathetic (let's put it this way, it is by no means life-changing so I would rather keep my conscience clear and forfeit the guilt money)
- Number of former colleagues who have resigned/are in process of resigning/awaiting formal job offers: too many to mention
- Parties/pre-Xmas events still to attend (not related - yet - to the above last point): 2
- Presents still to buy: no idea, am letting impulse drive me at this stage
- Planning for Xmas lunch: have not got that far yet
- Days until Xmas: OMG it's next FRIDAY!
- State of mind: surprisingly at ease - am sure this will all change come Dec 24th
Does anyone have something to add?