Sunday, 20 April 2014

One week on

Amazingly the weather today would have been more suitable for the London Marathon last Sunday.
Not least because it is closer to the winter training conditions endured to ready myself for the 26 mile 385 yards feat.

No matters.

What counts (as I am constantly reminded by everyone) is that I finished.

Never mind that my time was rubbish - an hour longer than hoped - and that I had to contend with
a) heat (16C max? Really? Try 22C plus on the tarmac in the full sun with swarms of other runners around you - I had sunburnt shoulders to prove it afterwards), and;
b) left hip joint pain and nausea from the 20 mile mark.

Apparently early stages of heatstroke. Who would have thought?

The upside is that I used my time wisely - never let mishaps get in the way of a good story!

Enjoy.

And if you feel ANY compassion/sympathy/disbelief/horror/shock whatsoever, do please sponsor me: I am almost there!


Next stop: Tough Mudder.

(yes, yes, I know, I know... it was the Moose's idea)


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Tuesday, 15 April 2014

The LCM comic strip - world premiere

Further to the last post, here is the result of my 'messing about with technology' effort. 
I obviously have far too many hours to waste at present.







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Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Raising my profile

Been hiding out in a cave? No? Good.
Then you will be very aware that I am now on the home straight in terms of training for the upcoming event-that-I-said-I-would-never-do-in-my-lifetime.

The wonderful charity that I am running for invited me to a hosted event yesterday evening, at the Houses of Parliament no less.

Twenty-three and a half years in London and I finally got an invite.

*pauses for thought*

That's a looooooong wait.

I made the most of it, as you do.

No entry? Really?
Don't you know who I am?

I even caught up with my old friend who is the cause of this insane decision. I will refrain from posting a photo of the two of us together as it will probably come back to haunt me.
Or he might sue me for defamation.
Or misrepresentation.
Or malpractice.
Or something.

Anyway. He did, in turn, send me a photo (or several) of me acting like a total tit for the camera, pulling faces like a ten year-old and generally hamming it up whilst the more serious people at the event acted like grown-ups, graciously sipping glasses of wine and eating the canapés on offer. And probably wondering who the bloody hell was this idiot in their midst.

Classic case of (everyone) being affected by the powerhouse despite not actually belonging there.

Although my friend's "LCM for PM!" comment on one of the photos - where I am adopting an MP-style pose in front of the dramatic political backdrop (use your imagination) - did get me thinking.

Hmmmm. I wonder.

Or maybe not.
Given the photo above I might just hotfoot it straight to the House of Lords, especially since my new nickname as of today - thanks to recent negotiation skills commended by a fellow governor, story for another post - is 'Lady Vader of Kew'.

Eddie Izzard eat your heart out.


And now it's back to training.*


*Altitude training shortly. Better known as skiing amongst the commoners.


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Monday, 24 March 2014

Awkward questions

So the marathon training has finally peaked and is now tapering off.

Yesterday I took part in the Hyde Park pre-marathon race.
Four laps and sixteen miles later, I finally finished.
We had wind, rain, sun, cloud, more rain, bit more sun, HAIL, wind, more cloud...
In other words, it was freezing. Even with three (light) layers on, I never quite warmed up. Nothing to do with speed, of course.
Plus I was overtaken by Elvis*. Typical.
Just as well the race is flat.

Then I had to drive home.

The upside of racing early on a Sunday is that a) it takes no time to drive in to the West End, and b) parking is free; downside - traffic of doom on the way back.

Anyway. My feet were killing me. I wanted to discard my shoes and socks and drive barefoot.
Because in my mind anything would have been preferable to the current state of affairs.
But.
Slight issue with trying to do this whilst manoeuvring in traffic and also - more importantly - having to extrapolate myself from the car so I could bend over and reach my trainers to take them off.
No mean feat when you are driving a Mini and have endured agony to get IN to the driver's seat in the first place post sixteen mile race.

I failed. And persevered. And finally got home over sixty minutes later.

I think I swore at a lot of people en route. I can't remember.

Half an hour post my re-entry, the troops return home from their rugby festival.
Less mud than usual, a relief.

One question only from Mr Man (the eldest) regarding my race.

MM - "Did you run or did you do the granddad shuffle?"
LCM - "What's the granddad shuffle?"
MM - "You know, when the old people pretend to run but they're actually walking and it's slower?"
LCM - "Uhmmm... Have you had any lunch?"

You be the judge.

At least not as embarrassing as an earlier conversation, when OH showed off his new beanie ("snug fit to keep my head warm on the rugby pitch') to me and Widget.

OH - "What do you think?"
LCM - "Looks like you have a condom on your head."
Widget - "You look bald."

BB passed comment on this.
BB - "Widget did not ask what a condom was?"
LCM - "Don't worry, that'll come."

I will just ask him if he has had any lunch.
Worked with his brother.

yes, that'd be me on the right
(blurry teeny image because I cannot be arsed
to fork out for a formal version)

* as in a runner dressed as Elvis, not some random dog being walked in the park


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Saturday, 15 March 2014

Buns of steel

Just in case you were wondering whether I had actually (finally) disappeared into a pit of endless sarcasm, I can report that I have not.

Disappeared, that is.

And the sarcasm is as rife as ever.


But guess what?

I did climb, and I did improve, and I did have a fabulous week of serious cycling.

Here's proof:


So back again to the big smoke now: laundry, business meetings, school governor stuff and rugby festivals. Not necessarily in that order.

Oh, and a pesky little event called a marathon.

Just as well I had a 'break' in usual training then.



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Wednesday, 26 February 2014

Clap along now

Know the song? The one all the kids sing along to, the one that puts a smile on your face, the one that gets you tapping your feet to the tune, the one with the feel good video?

No? Yes?

Here you go - just because I never tire of it:


So, what's the point? Well, there is none really. Aside from a realisation today that we should never take things for granted, be grateful for our friends and loved ones, enjoy life every day, and not waste time wondering "What if?" but rather just 'do it'.

And on that cryptic note I will leave you with this image, as apparently it will be my 'reincarnation' and contribution next week on World Book Day.

vast improvement on the original LCM

Like I said: just do it.

Even if you have to dress up as a minion.
Anything for a great cause.


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Sunday, 16 February 2014

The exclusive interview

A phone call.
An introduction.
A request for an exclusive insight.*

How could I refuse?

Indeed, I couldn't.

I didn't need to even dress up or put on mascara.
Or change out of my filthy training kit for that matter.
Gotta love the phone sometimes, it even outranks Skype on such occasions.

Interviewer: So, I hear you are training for the London Marathon? I thought you took part in triathlons?

LCM: Hello there! Thanks for having me on the show. I was so excited to receive the phone call this morning literally out of the blue and be asked to take part in your Q&A session. Of course, this isn't the first time I have been interviewed, or appeared on the telly for that matter - but that's a whole other story, ha ha ha ha, and I was only nineteen at the time and it was the equivalent of 'Blind Date' in Australia, can't remember the name of the show, oh yes, it was 'Perfect Match', which I was, the perfect match that is, but I didn't get chosen which is just as well as he was a short-arsed peroxide dunce anyway - but either way, well, WOW! How fantastic! Imagine silly little me being interviewed! That's just great. Wait until I call my mum and tell her. Sorry, what was the question?

Interviewer: What made you take up this challenge?

LCM: Which challenge? Oh, you mean the marathon? Yes, well, I woke up on new year's day with a slightly woolly head and remembered walking home the night before wearing someone else's borrowed wellies - because otherwise I would have had to trek the two kilometres home in high stiletto heels - and that led me to answering an email from many months earlier about joining a team to run the London Marathon. Which now makes even less sense than it did at the time, but, hey-ho, too late now!

Interviewer: How do you find the time to train?

LCM: I steal it from the family. The kids have a rota that sees them alternate washing, cooking, shopping, cleaning, vacuuming duties. My OH chips in when he doesn't have his work phone glued to his ear. I occasionally see them long enough to thank them - and the fire brigade - for not setting the kitchen alight or bringing home stray dogs, although I fear their enthusiasm is waning somewhat as my dinner is more frequently burnt of late.

Interviewer: Do you follow a special diet?

LCM: Aside from food? Uhmm, not particularly. Should I be?

Interviewer: What have you learnt so far on this journey?

LCM: How long have you got? Let's see... 1. Anyone who says you don't need to pee during a long run either has a bladder of steel or wet knickers. 2. I hate being overtaken. 3. I will never run a four minute mile. 4. My feet hurt. 5. Likewise my knees. 6. Sitting down is nice, but getting up is painful. 7. Do you need more? I could go on for a while here...

Interviewer: Where do you get your motivation from?

LCM: You kidding me? Fresh air, the great outdoors, hours away from domestic chores, school homework, client projects, work proposals, no WiFi, no phone, no concerns... Unless you count the mud. And the rain. And the cold. And the looks from well-heeled pedestrians who give a wide berth when you are approaching.

Interviewer: Any special tips for our listeners?

LCM: Yes. Take up a knitting.

Interviewer: And after this, what next?

LCM: I am going on a cycling camp! Actually, that is before the marathon. Not sure how the running fits in, but I'll figure it out. Oh, and skiing! Also before the marathon. No idea how the running fits in there either, but the marathon is the day after we get back, so as long as I don't break a leg...

Interviewer: What would be your parting words of wisdom for others looking to run a marathon?

LCM: Do not borrow wellies from friends on new year's eve. They put funny ideas in your head.

Warning: can seriously affect
your judgement

* this may well have all taken place in my imagination


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