Wednesday, 14 June 2017

Analogies of a sort

Thankfully I spent the tail end of last week in a different country, taking part in another cycling event that was both exhilarating and exhausting, with my good friend (and fellow Kevinette) the Aussie Solicitor.

As we crossed the finish line there was much cheering and a man with a microphone ran up wanting to interview us. A bit of banter and a few laughs - especially when I mentioned that we had come this far to "escape the election" - and he signed off with a "Good luck with Brexit!"

Indeed.

Talk about a car crash.

I had jokingly said this was Ms May's election to lose, not Corbyn's to win, but hardly expected my words to be quite so prophetic.

Not being known to mince my words, and having already endured friendship fallouts from the lamentable referendum of last June, I decided to focus instead on one of the books we were set to read for Kevin's next rendezvous.

Now possibly because I was so put out by a trust fund hypocrite being re-elected to my local constituency - by a mere forty-five votes, no less - my take on this book was, ermm, let's just say less than favourable.

Aussie Solicitor, who has (perhaps wisely) not read it yet, asked me what I thought.

"An absolute pile of shit."

Like I said, no word-mincing.

And a perfect analogy for other events too.

where to even start...


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Friday, 2 June 2017

Schlepping it over to the continent

Good grief, another month gone by already.

Amongst other things (work, mainly... and cycling) I have been rather taken in the lead up to this:



When I have more hours in the day, I will post the full version.

Suffice to say it was an incredible event with some truly fabulous people.
And all for a common and very worthy cause: children and education.

Yay us.


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Monday, 1 May 2017

Dinner is served, badly

It is election season.

Obviously we didn't have quite enough excitement last year, so what we were categorically told would not happen in the UK is actually happening and it is only a matter of time before the proverbial starts hitting the fan once more, everyone goes for the jugular and we split the nation even further.

Just as well we are all "coming together", as Ms May would have us believe.

Except for Westminster, apparently.

Not sure where she gets her stats from, but I am guessing the same source as The Donald. Listen to those voices in your head and sooner or later you believe the alternative reality is the truth.

Ho hum.

However my current favourite take on the dire situation - and delusion - of the incumbent PM (and her band of incompetents) is the most recent, involving her dinner with the President of the European Commission, Jean-Claude Juncker.

The report by Frankfurter Allgemeine Sonntagszeitung (FAZ) is solely in German, in hard copy print edition, with no English translation, and is summarised brilliantly by the Berlin bureau chief at The Economist via a series of tweets.

The event can best be described as a total clusterf*ck.

Oh to have been a fly on the wall.



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Tuesday, 21 March 2017

Kevin's numbers

Another rendezvous, another venue, another mad-hatter-teaparty-of-sorts-with-lots-of-noise-food-wine-and-chatter.

Very loud chatter.

So loud, in fact, that Belfast Blonde's new husband had been forewarned and told he might - possibly - require ear muffs. He was 'in residence', you see, a reward for Kevin's past good behaviour so that we could finally meet this man who had snared one of our own.

He cooked and fed us all, so he definitely got the thumbs up.

One thing about being a bookclub now into its seventeenth year is that aside from us having become great friends and spent an inordinate amount of time drinking wine and eating copious quantities of food, we also appear to have become somewhat deaf.

Yes, deaf.

Especially when it comes to numbers.

"How many books have we read in all over the years?"
"When?"
"As Kevin..."
"Two per meeting, about eight meetings a year..."
"How many per meeting?"
"Two."
"Is it two?"
"I just said that."
"Oh. So how many meetings?"
"About eight?"
"But how many weeks between meetings?"
"Six?"
"Six? I thought seven?"
"How many weeks in a year?"
"Fifty-two..."

*brief pause while seven normally intelligent women do some mental maths*

"So about one hundred and seventy books then!"
"Yes, about two hundred odd!"
"How many? Two hundred and fifty?"
"Who has kept a record?"
"The black book..."
"It's blue now."
"Which book? Is that new?"
"About one hundred and seventy."
"What is?"
"I have a tally of all the books!"
"Which ones?"

(I actually did a proper calculation: the correct answer is two hundred and twenty-nine...ish)

And then it came down to deciding which books to select for the next meeting.

"How many have we got to choose from?"
"Six, you can all vote for your favourite."
"But we have two votes!"
"We vote twice for each book?"
"No, we vote twice for separate books."
"With the same vote? Does that count twice?"
"One vote per book."
"That's six votes!"
"Six votes each?"
"Two votes each!"
"One of the books is the third in a series. Have we read the previous two?"
"No. But we could add those..."
"We could read the first one first though..."
"So how many books?"
"I'm replacing the third in the series with the first in the series..."
"Do we vote on that one too?"
"I'm voting twice."
"How many votes?"
"Do we put our hands up?"
"Who's counting? Anyone have a pen?"

Anyway. We cast votes. Some Kevinettes may have cheated.
Who cares?

We laughed. We ate. We drank. We toasted the new husband and his gorgeous wife's good health.

And we chose two new books to read.

I think we've all agreed on the same ones.
I might have mis-heard.



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Sunday, 12 March 2017

Crikey moses!

What? March? Already? How did that happen?

I was actually paying attention however a number of things have been happening in quick succession and demanding my complete focus - not least a new work project which is a combination of exhilarating/exciting/scary/incredible/unbelievable and much more.

And in the meantime there is an increasing amount of cycling taking place, not least to get the ardent participants in our London to Bruges challenge up and ready for the May 19th departure date.

Talk about commitment and enthusiasm - this group of individuals have it in spades. I have half a plan to bottle it somehow and flog it on eBay as a potent dis-inhibitor.

'Eau de Givitallugot' sounds like a catchy name, no?
Pronounced with a veritable French accent, I think: giv-ee-tail-hugh-go.

Anyway. Lots of kilometres under the belt (wheels), regardless of the weather or the conditions.

For the uninitiated, this is referred to as abiding by The Rules.

And proof of how hardy this bunch is, see the photo.
So wet, even my phone camera was blurry.

Kudos.

And rule #9 peeps, rule #9.

Well 'ard 

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Sunday, 12 February 2017

Spare me the pseudo-tragic

Okay, so the most newsworthy headline this weekend in the tabloid press is how a very over-privileged, moneyed, wanting-for-nothing-not-even-a-diamond-glitterball, high flying, fast living, more-readies-than-common-sense, reformed cocaine addict and paparazzi darling "predicted her own death".

Apparently, this is 'tragic'.

Puh-leese.

This is predictable. This is idiotic. This is undoubtedly sad.
But tragic? Really? First world problems in my book.

Let me list what is truly tragic:

  • cuts to funding for state education in the UK
  • NHS mismanagement and associated fallout(s)
  • lack of clarity regarding Brexit plans and EU workers' statuses
  • political party elected officials who couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery
  • an orange wotsit cheeto as head of the 'free world' who defies any logic
  • people discriminated against by their colour/faith/gender/sexuality/origin/anything-else-you-might-find-offensive-or-disagreeable
  • refugees fleeing desperate situations through no fault of their own
  • gratuitous misogyny enshrined in law
  • most news involving the latest 'alternative facts' or associated perverted spin

Maybe the silver lining is that such a sycophantic headline will make others, too, take stock and realise what really should be capturing their attention... and possibly spur them on to action.

Do something. Take a view and be informed. Make a stand. 

But do me a favour.
Don't call such a situation 'tragic'.
Regrettable, yes. Tragic, no.

We all have choices. 
Make yours wisely.



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Thursday, 26 January 2017

Complacency is not an option

So.

I went. I marched. I returned.

An incredible experience: uplifting, invigorating, positive, friendly, powerful, inspiring, energising. And so much more.

What had been expected to be a crowd of some two-to-three hundred thousand turned out to be over one million. I doubt whether any of the participants in the Women's March in Washington had ever seen such numbers in their lifetime. Certainly not me.

There were young and old, men and women and children, of all colours, races, beliefs and backgrounds and orientations, united across any differences by the knowledge that if history teaches us anything it is this: complacency is equal to apathy.

To all those who joined in marches around the world, either in person or merely in spirit, I say: Well done!

To those who couldn't, I say: This is just the start!

To those who comment about wanting to do away with the negativity, asking that their Facebook feeds return to postings of kitten photos and happy thoughts and all things sugar and spice, I say:

Be under no illusion that this too, shall pass. You can choose to not participate, as is your right, but conversely you cannot condemn those who opt to question and challenge and not be quiet merely because you deem that we should 'get over it'. Democracy works in many ways, and this is how millions of people worldwide are choosing to exercise that right: by not standing by, by making our voices heard, and by keeping our eyes and ears wide open.

The world as we know it is changing, not just across the pond, nor solely in the UK. Pretending there is little or nothing we can do about it is akin to believing that rain will not make us wet despite venturing outdoors without an umbrella.

My stance continues, and will do so as long as necessary. I am not doing this merely for myself and my loved ones, I am doing it for all of us.

And that includes you, whether you like it or not.




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